SRK- Stylish Rocking Knight

- The Knights gathered at Dublin on Sunday for the Nokia after-party, where they got N97 touch phones from the sponsor and a peptalk from the boss. t2 was there, of course

SRKISMS

Shashi Tharoor is a politician so there are not so many interesting topics. Also, he doesn't talk to his wife on Twitter so I am better (twitterer).

When Chris Gayle was born, it must have taken very long for him to be delivered. Doctor must have said: Aadha aa gaya, aadha baki hai! Chris Gayle brings spirituality to the team. I saw him meditating on a manicure-pedicure chair with seven women around him, chanting Om…

I tell the director what expressions I will show and how I will emote. But for the other actors, they need practice so yes, IPL is good training ground!

I don't return money for the weddings I attend if the marriage fails. Instead, the guys pay me more! Whenever I ask Chris Gayle, Owais Shah, Brad Hodge and Brendon McCullum how they are doing, their reply is: Must be doing good… the wife's still there!

I really want to dance in my six-pack after winning the IPL. I haven't seen Dada shirtless in a long time! All the 23-24 members of Team KKR will go topless after we win!

I have already done a song called Sardi khasi na malaria hua, now I will be able to do a film on malaria since I have found Vikram Sathaye (stand-up comedian and host for the evening) as my lead. He will be cast as the female anopheles mosquito! All the females I launch do well. Look at Deepika.

Eighty three per cent of the people say Eden Gardens is the best atmosphere. The rest of the 17 per cent are stupid.

I am an actor. I always lie. I say whatever you want to hear to see you smile.

Cricket is my third favourite sport after hockey and soccer. My favourite cricket films are Lagaan and Iqbal. We have the rights for the book The Zoya Factor and we will try to make it by the World Cup next year.

"When we win the IPL, Dav will ask us, 'what more do you want?'!"

There is no secret or formula to make us reach the semis. I don't talk cricket to the boys. We have to send them positive feelings. We have to make them feel happy. When you are down and out, you just have to forget that. We will win all the next five matches. That is the feeling we have to think when we wake up every morning. The great Michael Schumacher came eighth in the Malaysian Grand Prix but if he can rev up his engine again and try to win the next one, Inshallah. We are used to the losing bit being on the wrong end of the stick but this time we will set it right.


Funny man Vikram Sathaye helped the KKR boys beat the post-match blues. A sample...	Chris Gayle VS: My friends from the Caribbean say it's 17 women, not 7… CG: 17 women is too much! I take it one at a time. VS: Are you planning to beat Tiger Woods? CG: Nahin nahin!

Wasim Akram On whether he noticed Shoaib Malik's love for tennis back then... "No, but I did notice his love for shaadis!"	Brad Hodge On how he copes with Indian food… "I have made more runs in the toilet than on the cricket field!"

Shane Bond On rating the IPL security (he was part of New Zealand police)... "The boys are big, so I would say good so far!"	David Hussey with SRK demonstrating his big catch at the boundary, Bollywood style! Pictures by Rashbehari Das